Real Talk · Uncategorized

11 Habits that you don’t realize make you seem mean.

It’s possible to be a lot of things without even realizing it. You can be inadvertently witty, or accidentally funny. You might even be so nice, with zero effort at all. But it’s also possible to be mean without realizing it. And that, for obvious reasons, is a little less charming.

It may not seem fair, but often all it takes is one off-putting habit, or a slight penchant for crankiness, and the label of “mean” is as good as yours to wear forever. If this sounds familiar, your bad habits could be making life way more difficult than it needs to be. It may also explain why your friends are calling you less often, or why no one ever wants to pair up with you at work or school.

While nothing to feel bad about, it is healthy to notice these bad habits — and then put a stop to them and the best place to start is with a little mindfulness. Once you gain some insight into your behavior patterns, you can catch yourself and alter it. Follow this up with a few tweaks and you can be much more approachable, and way more likable. Sound good? Then read on for some signs it may be time to do just that.

Waiting around for people to approach you.

Think about all the times you’ve gone to a party, or a friend of a friend’s house, and proceeded to stand in the corner alone all night. While that’s totally your prerogative, think about how it can be seen by other people. If you left wondering why no one talked to you, it could be because you didn’t talk to them. Not approaching other people can make you seem standoffish and mean — even if that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Giving off disinterested vibes with your body language.

Your body language can give off some pretty unfriendly vibes as well. Not smiling, crossing your arms, looking around when someone is talking, looking at a watch or (even worse) a cell phone… all say, “You’re boring me and I’d rather be anywhere else than here talking to you.” To seem kinder, look up and keep your arms at your sides. This open body language can make all the difference in the world.

Being super blunt while chatting.

How blunt are you, on a scale from one to 10? If you really let people have it, don’t be surprised if they’ve labeled you as mean. Even though it’s not your job to make everyone happy, it is important to occasionally edit what you say and how you say it. I am notorious for using the line “I don’t know if this is allowed but…” before diving into what I really want to say.

Showing up late to everything.

Being punctual 100 percent of the time is completely impossible. Things happen, and that’s OK. But showing up late on the regular really can start to turn people off. It says, “My time is more important than yours.” Even if that’s not what’s going through your head, it’s easy to see why your lateness could be perceived as awfully self-centered.

Letting your impatience get the best of you.

The next time you feel the urge to be impatient, think twice. Your impatience gets interpreted as anger, agitation, and it is certainly no fun to be in the presence of.  Think back to all the times someone behind you in line got all cranky and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

Saying anything you want, whenever you want.

We all have that one friend (or maybe we are that friend) who revels in the fact they “have no filter.” It can be funny, and sometimes even charming. But saying anything to anyone can also make you come off as rude — if you aren’t careful. Keeping your audience in mind is key. Unless you’re sure people are down for some real talk, it may be a good idea to tone it down a bit.

Always assuming the worst.

If you’ve had a slue of bad bosses, or one horrible ex after the next, then it makes sense why your opinion of mankind may be tainted. But that still doesn’t mean you should assume the worst of everyone. Misanthropy — even when mildly justified — only makes you seem like that bad one. And that’s probably not the vibe you’re going for.

Forgetting to make eye contact.

There are a million reasons why you might be bad at making eye contact. Maybe you feel nervous, or shy, or you forget (because you’re feeling nervous and shy). Whatever the reason, do know bad eye contact can make you shine in a not so good light. Unfortunately people misinterpret this as you being snobby and disinterested. Not your goal, I’m sure.

Confusing your opinions with facts.

Again, go forth into the world and share your opinions. But, do bear in mind the huge difference between opinions and facts. Sharing your thoughts is a great thing, as long as you’re cool enough to see the other side, too.

Hiding the “real” you.

People want to get to know the real you. So if you hardly ever open up, friends and partners may start to view you as cold and standoffish. Talking about your feelings and being vulnerable lets people relate to you and allows for people to get close, rather than just being distracted or dismissed by your mannerisms or perceived attitude. It may take some practice, but it is a skill worth having.

Not taking the time to listen.

All anyone truly wants is to be heard and understood. Failing to do so because you’re not listening can, for obvious reasons, cause people to view you as kind of rude.

And since I doubt you want that (I mean, who does?), it really can help to know which bad habits are putting people off. Are you sort of closed off, or a bit cranky? Try noticing and then doing your best to change things up.

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Fashion · Uncategorized

Looking back at my ’00s style – is there’s such a thing as a fashion mistake?

Have you ever looked back at a picture of yourself as a teenager and wondered, ‘What on Earth was I wearing?’ I know I have. But the ’00s were a strange time, weren’t they? If you’re anything like me, your early Facebook pics are probably filled with outfits that you now have some serious questions about. However, today, I strongly believe that there’s no such thing as a fashion mistake of the ’00s, or any era for that matter. In fact, I don’t think fashion mistakes exist at all, and I’ll tell you why.

Taking a fashion risk knowing perhaps that it might not go down well with everyone you encounter is, I think, the most important and vital part of being fashionable. In my teens that was sometimes my Guido and Mary jeans with a veeeeery low waistband and my beloved Parasuco long sleeve with Velcro letters and obviously my Von Dutch trucker hat. Every time I take a dalliance down the danger filled alley that is memory lane, I look back screaming “why?!” into the universe.

I remember 16 years ago when I was 13, I went to England to visit my cousins. Everywhere I looked girls were wearing boxing style boots which were just about the most dope things I had ever seen. Nobody I knew at home had them. So, when I got back home to Canada I went on ahead and begged and begged and was lucky enough to get a pair. Back and white Puma boxing high tops.

Well in suburban Thornhill, Ontario circa 2002, that was not the case. I carefully laced them up, the way I had seen them worn in England with my jeans tucked in. They were the jewel in the crown of what was (probably) an otherwise horrific outfit. I left my house, strutting my stuff and was high on life. I don’t think my high school was ready for these babies just yet and I suddenly didn’t feel so in love with them as I had that morning.

So I went home, my step sadly with less of a spring, carefully unlaced the my boots, and put them back in their box, along with my confidence to wear what I actually wanted to. You see, the fact is, all that really matters is that you perceive your look to be good. Fu*k the haters. They are wrong. These morons thought my shoes sucked, even though they were clearly super lit.

Did those shoes ever come out of their box again? Of course they did. About a year later when suddenly everyone had a pair. I wore them until the leather had been cracked and the white turned a gross grey and the soles had both worn down on one side the way they always do. Of course, this was not the riskiest fashion risk I ever took. There were countless others that have since made me wince. But the important thing is that I took those damn risks and I continue to do so today.

Combining all sorts of bright hues with the occasional lick of lippy and my signature sliver rings is something that is my daily routine, today. Thanks to the decisions (not mistakes) I made back then, I have muddled together some sort of a reasonably OK look that gets me by, that sometimes even gets some nice compliments.

But when I look back at the girl in the photos, desperate to fit in and look like everyone else but standing out like a sore thumb, I can’t help but think, any previous fashion “mistakes” were super important. Those decisions that I made, that you made, that everyone you know made, are so flipping important.

Ditch the rules that say you can wear this or you can’t wear that. They are just plain wrong. The key to looking good is feeling good and if you feel good in those questionable outfits that others might think too risky, then honey, you look a million bucks.

What was your favorite outfit from the 2000’s? Who were you style icons?

I had a serious love affair with Juicy Couture, Von Dutch, Parasuco and basically anything Paris Hilton, Hilary Duff (did anyone else rock the Duff Puff 2/47?) or Beyoncé wore. I can’t lie, I still wear UGGs and you know what? I LOVE them and will never let them go!

I can’t find the exact image anymore but there was a photo from this ad campaign that Juicy did that I had as my desktop background forever!


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Fashion · Uncategorized

I made a Wish.

I often get DMs asking about affordable shopping or sale alerts and ladies, I HEAR YOU and I GOT YOU!

There is a good chance you have heard about previously – they likely show up as advertisements on your Instagram or Facebook pages. A t-shirt for $4.00? A dress for $9.00? I, being a total sucker for marketing gave into this and for the past couple months I have been opening package after package full of goodies. Not everything has been a goodie but there are defiantly some quality pieces that can be found on Wish!

Before you go crazy,  I should warn you of one little thing I missed the first few times I checked out. Pay attention to the shipping costs!!! If you purchase the same item in a few colors or sizes, you will get changed the shipping fee on each item not each order. Also, one trick that I learnt is if you close the app while there are items in your shopping cart still, you will often get a notification a few moments later offering you between 5-10% off if you check out now.

The items below have been washed and warn a few times each so I could see how they hold up and they have all passed my test! I’ve linked the pictures for you also in case you want to purchase them. Please know I am not affiliated with Wish at all, I am just sharing some of my finds because I love you and sharing is caring! Also, I have purchased a lot more that the items below but these are my favs! If there is something you’re looking at and want to know if I have it and if I would recommend it, by all means send me a DM anytime! There are a bunch of things I have hated and just didn’t work out for me. Would you guys want to see those also?

Continue reading “I made a Wish.”