Real Talk

Things every 20-something should know.

Heading into my 20s I can remember thinking I’d have everything figured out within  a few years. Now, here I am in my very late-late-20s and feeling like while I have figured A LOT out, I still have some figuring out to do. Anyone else agree? What I know for sure though, is what’s important to me – which I think is one of the hardest and biggest things to learn in life, at whatever age that comes.

I think your 20s are by far the most transitional point of life. With it comes all of this stuff that we’re supposed to learn. You may start living on your own and supporting yourself. You may finish university or college and actually have to figure out a real career. You may often leave behind childhood and college friends as people get pulled in different directions. You may go through some serious relationships and may even get married and have kids, all while still feeling like you were just 16 years old last week.

It’s emotional, busy, fun, and all the while very evolving. I can’t think of another decade of life where things will look so drastically different from start to the finish, and that’s pretty cool. It’s weird and hard, but it’s exciting, right?! It’s the period in which you start to form your true self as an adult – as corny as it sounds.

I wanted to talk about what I think every 20-something should know about themselves today. Like I said, of course we won’t – and I definitely don’t – have every single thing figured out by the day 30 comes. (and OMG, it’s coming fast!) But I do think it’s imperative as a young adult moving towards being a #RealAdult to have a grasp on certain things! Figuring out certain things about yourself will definitely set up a life that really feels like YOU.


Know your worth.

I wish there was a magical pill or a book to read or something that all girls could do at a young age to understand their worth. As a female, it’s no secret that we are judged heavily and there’s pressure to be this beautiful, smart, funny (but not too funny!), sexy (but not too sexy!), driven (but not too driven!) person and it’s not fair. Something I’ve definitely started to learn is my worth – and that I’m worthy of love, respect, and all the good things in life. Just because everyone is different and raised differently doesn’t mean someone’s worth should be greater than another persons.

Your 20s are a time when you get pushed around and start to deal with the answer ‘no’ a lot more than you may have heard before. It’s also a time when you see the people around you do certain things and it can be tough not to feel inadequate if your life looks a bit different. That’s where your worth comes in. Your worth has nothing to do with what job you have or how much you have in your bank – it’s who you are inside.

Everyone’s life looks different.

Your 20s are when peoples world’s start looking very different. Think about it…in your teens everyone goes to school, does similar activities, achieves the same milestones and looks and feels pretty awkward. High school is a lot of the same – everyone goes to the same classes and is basically in the same spot. Then your 20s hit and some people move back home, some go off to these seemingly really cool jobs, some go travel the world, some get married, some get pregnant, some get divorced, some stay single. It can be confusing to figure out if your life is good enough or where you’re supposed to be, right?!

For me, coming to the realization that everyone’s world is SUPPOSED to look different was huge and even liberating. I found that I would question myself when comparing to others’ situations or stages. You’ve heard it before, but I’ll tell you again…comparison is a dangerous place and it will always be the prime thief of your joy! It’s also important to realize that when you’re playing the comparison game, you’re only taking the surface level stuff into consideration! Another cliche for you, the grass will always *seem* greener! But it’s important to realize that you (or I too!) probably wouldn’t even be happy in “their” shoes because you are unique and have your own story. Similar to recognizing your worth, accepting that everyone has a different journey is crucial.


Spend your time how you want to spend it.

This is one of my favorite parts of being a 20-something! You actually get to start choosing how you want to spend your time, what your hobbies are, all while growing out of the stage where you put huge emphasis on what people think. It’s liberating!

You don’t have to play a team sport to feel involved, you don’t have to go the party Friday night just because everyone else is, and you don’t have to be liked by everyone in your school. You can totally #DoYou. I’ve really enjoyed finding out what I actually enjoy doing – not what’s popular or what I should be doing because the Internet tells me so. For me, that’s having a nice night at home with my boyfriend and pug, hanging out with close friends or even getting lost in a new book for a few hours. Find whatever makes you feel the most like YOU and stick to that!

Discover your style.

Another great thing about your 20s is you get a better sense of your style and body type. With maturity, I’ve figured out what trends I want to hop on board with, which are just not for me, and what looks best on my body. For example, I have really tiny shoulders, so I’ve stopped wearing certain (really cute!) items that don’t sit right and look oversized when they hang from my shoulders. I’ve learned that cuffing my jeans makes my legs look longer and that I’m most comfortable in jeans, wedges, and with my hair done, instead of a dress. These combos (esp. the jeans!) are my happy place for my body type and what I feel most comfortable and confident in. I think finding out a silhouette or even a personal style is super important for this stage – for ease, and for confidence in general.

Find your own tribe.

Similar to how you spend your time, your 20s are freaking beautiful because you realize who is truly important in your life. You can ditch the cliques and people that make you feel bad about yourself, or just not comfortable; and you can embrace a (maybe smaller. Quality over quantity!) group who GETS YOU. I like to think of this as my HOME TEAM – the girls that are rooting for me, understand who I am, and that I just generally vibe well with. This is definitely a hard transition because growing up, you’re supposed to be friends with everybody, but there’s something mature and appealing about having a close-knit circle of friends and family members who you feel your best with. There’s no fake-ness, toxicity (or shouldn’t be!), awkwardness; time is just spent enjoying each other’s company and lifting each other up! (On a slightly related note, if you haven’t already read my entry: learn when to say “good-bye” jump over there next and let go of those toxic relationships)

As I embark on the last few months of being a 20-something (gasp!) I would be lying if I said I wasn’t also looking forward to seeing what 30 has lined up for me! What are the biggest lessons you’ve learn or are learning from your 20s? I would love to hear about it in the comment section.

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