Although Christmas is right around the corner and we’ve been pumped up for weeks now, I want to hit pause for a second and change gears.
Once all the gifts are wrapped and placed under the tree, the cookies are baked and iced, the tree lights are on, there is often a moment of silence that hovers followed by the realization that a new year is breathing down or necks. Where has this year gone?
I actually posted this thought last year but I wanted to share it again with you because I think it is something very important… I don’t believe in New Years’ resolutions. Nope. Sorry.
Let me explain… As many of you will be breaking out a pen and paper over the next couple of days to start making your resolutions list for 2019, I thought I would share mine with you. I only have one…well, kind of.
In the spring of 2012 my life got a little rocked and turned upside down for a hot minute. Up until then, I thought I had a life-map to follow. I thought I needed to have this done by this time in my life so that this can happen because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I realized in a moment of clarity, this is my life… it belongs to me and not anyone else. I am the only person who can make decisions about myself and do the things that make me happy and not do the things I don’t want to do.
As December of 2012 threatened to turn into January of 2013, I made a promise to myself. I made the last New Years’ resolution I was ever going to make. I committed to myself that I would not set anymore resolutions for the upcoming year. And the year after that. And the year after that. You see where I am going with this?
This may sound completely crazy and it may likely go against everything you have been told, I get that! If you MUST make a resolution this year, make it this: give up wanting anything to happen in the New Year. And if you MUST set a goal, set a goal to make no goals. Embrace the New Year with zero pressure and remain open to the possibility of your potential, be receptive to change and ready to show compassion to yourself for your shortcomings. The reality is that there is no point in setting the same resolutions you’ve been setting for years on end, only to feel disappointed and down on yourself this time next year.
Albert Einstein said it right when he said “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” Consider for a moment why you haven’t lost that weight, why you didn’t change your job or why you didn’t tackle that home renovation this year. Maybe, you didn’t actually really want to, or maybe you were busy thinking about it that you didn’t have the time to actually do it.
This is the year to make a real change. It is time to take stock of where you are and what you really want out of life and stop doing what others expect you to do or what you think might make you seem or feel more successful or appealing.
How about, this year you allow yourself to be you! Do you girl! Stop putting the heavy pressure and expectations on yourself and allow yourself that time and freedom to be present in situations, be open to adventure, see where things go.
It doesn’t seem like a big resolution, but in fact is it absolutely massive! The moment you choose to stop putting pressure on yourself to undertake resolutions that you aren’t 100% committed to or don’t even really want, is the moment you allow yourself that chance to breath. In my option, that is what a New Year should bring – a feeling of release, a feeling of newness and a feeling of being free.
Of course, there is always room for improvement in life, and yes, goal-setting can be a positive activity. However, if you feel short-changed by your efforts and rewards, then maybe it’s time you stopped forcing yourself, stopped making empty promises to a stranger, stopped living through the expectation of others and instead make friends with yourself and that wonderful being that you are!
Empty your glass and dance into this New Year without the baggage from the last. If it feeds you soul, do it! If it makes you want to get out of bed in the morning with a smile, carry on! Let positive vibes and energy give you the clarity to move forward and be comfortable with who you are.
Enjoy the last few days of 2018!