Real Talk · Uncategorized

9 Things to do right after you get engaged.

It’s December which to many of us mean, it’s engagement season!

In case you are new around here, Tyson and I get engaged this past January and are now well underway to planning our March 2020 wedding.

Getting engaged is super exciting and I can’t urge you enough to pause and let the moment soak in before you rush into any decisions. You’ve paused and are ready now? OK, so now I want to talk about what comes next! I’m guessing there are a few of you out there who might be in the same boat as me right now, or you’re women’s intuition is going off and you’re sensing an upcoming engagement, which is why I wanted to write a post all about what to do right after you get engaged. Some of it may seem a little like common sense, but some things have even taken me by surprise!

Whether your engagement is a few months or a year, I hope this post is helpful for any brides-to-be out there like myself. And if you have any other important tips on what to get done ASAP, please share in the comments!!

Celebrate!

I wanted to include taking a minute to celebrate because hello!! You just got engaged!! Trust me, I totally get how easy it is to dive in head first to wedding planning mode without even taking a minute to digest the fact that you’re getting married. But it’s totally worth it to slow down for a second and take it all in. Lucky for us, we were on vacation when we got engaged so that gave us a few days to spread the word before we arrived home to our friends waiting with bottles of champs!

Insure your ring and get it sized.

OK, so this is VERY important. I’ll be honest – I didn’t even really realize this was something you have to do, but you 100% should. Get it done right away too because if anything happens to your ring, you want it to be covered!

This is also a good time to get your ring sized if you need to (Tyson was adorable and crept into my closet to measure my rings before he proposed. However, he accidentally measured my thumb ring for my right hand which is much larger than my left handed ring finger. I needed to take mine in to be sized from a 6.5 to a 3.25. He was smart enough to bring temporary spacers for the ring on our vacation so I could wear it in the meantime). It sucks to be without your ring for a little bit, but you don’t want it falling off or be too tight! Some jewellers can do it day-of on the spot like mine did so call around!

Set a wedding budget.

This is one of those logistical things that isn’t very fun but has to be done. Think about the kind of wedding you want (big, small, local, destination, plated dinner vs buffet, etc.) and get an idea of what your budget will be. Do this ASAP so you can start booking vendors and thinking about all the fun details! I suggest starting an Excel file and adding every budgeted amount and every purchase so you can stay on track.

Nail down your most important vendors.

Speaking of vendors, you want to nail them down basically as soon as possible. This would include things like your venue, your photographer/videographer, your planner (if you’re having one), the florist, caterer, DJ or band, etc. These people book up months (sometimes years!) in advance so start doing your research right away and then book visits so you can make a decision sooner rather than later.

Pick your date.

You basically can’t do anything else until you have your date set in stone, so while you’re contacting all your top vendor choices, be sure to get a few available dates from each of them to help you narrow down what date works best overall. Take into consideration weather, if you want something inside or out, in-season vs. out of season prices, the type of vision you have and all that!

Share your plans with close friends and family.

As you start booking things, you’ll definitely want to keep your family and close friends in the loop. You don’t want to pick a date that doesn’t work for one of the most important people in your life but you also don’t want to be living on other people’s agendas, so keep this circle small-ish. If you want a big wedding, it might be best to do something more off-season so you know more people will be able to attend!

Choose your wedding party.

If you are having a quick engagement, choosing your wedding party is something to do right away! If you’re having a longer engagement it may not seem quite as important, and I would almost have to discourage you from making a quick decision on this. Friendships can change overnight and when you add a wedding into the mix, sometimes people change. Your girls are going to want to get to work planning showers and a bachelorette party for you so giving them as much time as possible is always helpful but make sure you think this through before hand. If you aren’t doing a party, you can obviously skip this!

Gather inspiration.

Now it’s time for all the really fun stuff! I’m neck-deep in wedding inspo right now and it’s been so dang exciting! Grab a big glass of wine and get over to Pinterest ASAP because you’ll be both fascinated and overwhelmed by all the different styles of weddings that are possible! So. Many. Choices.

Go dress shopping.

Ahhhh!! This can be the most exciting part but it can also take some time! I suggest starting this sooner than later once you have a clear idea of your venue and decor. You might be like me who falls in love after the first dress and you’ll know that’s the dress without trying on others. Or, you may go to every bridal stone in your town and try on everything! Even if you have a year-long engagement, I definitely wouldn’t wait too long to pick your dress!

Sometimes I still have to pinch myself that I’m engaged and all of this is happening so fast! Where are you at in your planning cycle? What do you have done and what do you have left to do? Any other March brides here or destination brides?

As always, don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.

Real Talk · Uncategorized

How to deal with negative self-talk.

Today’s post is something I’ve been wanting to write for a while, but is kinda heavy so I think I’ve subconsciously been putting it off. Negative self-talk is an issue I deal with frequently and I want to put it out there because I think we all can be unnecessarily hard on ourselves every once in a while. I know I write a lot about positivity and self-care, etc. but the truth is I have some down moments of my own and can find myself in a really negative head space sometimes. I try really hard to be self-aware enough to know when I’m in this space, which is what I want to touch on in this post.

I sat down and put some thought (basically did a brain dump and pulled out what made sense) into it and the following is what I came up with for how to deal with negative self-talk.

Be aware enough to know when you’re doing it.

I mentioned this above and I think it’s the most important thing to take away from this post. Knowing when you’re in a tough spot mentally and taking it all out on yourself is key. Because, no matter what your situation is, being mean to yourself isn’t going to help solve anything. Honestly, I think self-awareness is one of the best characteristics a person can have.

Ask yourself why.

If you find yourself talking or thinking negatively about yourself, pause for a second and ask yourself why? Did you miss a deadline? Forget an appointment? Drop the ball in some way at work? Doing any of those things can make you feel like a failure darn quick. I GET IT. But how does beating yourself over it help in any way? Instead, ask yourself why you’re being so hard on yourself and then write a quick list of two or three things that you can do to change the circumstance for next time. Take action! Rethink your priorities, evaluate your goals. etc. There are just a lot more productive things you can do to help yourself than sitting around making yourself feel like total crap, know what I mean?

Do something you enjoy.

This kind of goes back to the self-awareness thing, but you need to know how to get yourself happy. KNOW what gives you true joy! That way when you need to bring yourself back up you know exactly what to do. For me, it’s going on a walk or having some quiet time snuggling with Winston, or even a call to my grandmother always seems to go a long way. Whatever it is for you, just do it and get yourself smiling again.

Give yourself grace.

This is another very important lesson I’ve learned in the last year or so. Giving yourself grace means you’re not being so critical of yourself and you’re making room for those “mess-ups” or “drop the ball” moments. The more I learn to extend myself some grace, the less I find myself in a bad spot mentally. It makes a huge difference, trust me!

I truly, truly hope you find this helpful. This is definitely an issue I’m still working on myself, but if putting it out there helps any of you then it’s worth it!

As always, don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.

Real Talk · Uncategorized

How to stay motivated when it’s cold and dark.

Hello lovely humans!!

I feel like it’s officially  that time of year again when the temperature and the short days start to take a toll on us. Anybody else experience this? I think I’m just someone who feeds off of the sun and beautiful weather, but living in Canada and having real winters, I want to double down on what I can do to keep motivated during the inevitable cold and short days.

I’ve written a lot about motivation in the past but I also really try to make these tips specific to the season, temperature and shorter days. If you have any tried and true tips on this topic, please share! I’m all ears because I have a feeling I’m going to need all the help I can get during the winter!

Find a way to get excited about the day.

When the weather is crappy and the sun starts to set at 5:30pm, the feeling of dread starts pretty early in the day. Instead of letting it take over, give yourself something to look forward to! For example, if you check off X amount of things on your to-do list then you get to buy those new boots you’ve been eyeing or take yourself out to a movie – whatever gets you most excited! Some may call it bribery, but I call it getting stuff done.

Move your body.

I’ve said this a million times and I’ll keep saying it – moving my body more has changed my life! It seriously makes me feel so much better and kind of reinvigorates me. It took a while for me to really make it a habit, but once I realized what a difference it was making in my productivity and how good it makes me feel, I had to keep doing it!

The main thing I love to do to move my body is take Winston for walks, 30 minutes at least every day. The problem I run into is in the winter time, the salt on the sidewalks is so bad for his little paws and it hurts him (I’ve tried so many pair of booties but he hates them all) so we resort to playing in the backyard as much as possible. Recently. I have adapted the habit of an at home workout every night. I’ve been using the Workout For Women app on my iPhone. There are a bunch of great workouts ranging from 6 – 9 minutes that don’t require any equipment other than your own body. I try and do 3 a day before hitting the showers.

Talk to a co-worker or friend.

I think it’s especially important to make sure you’re not isolating yourself in the fall/winter months. The weather can already make things sort of depressing so if you’re feeling unmotivated, talk to someone at work or a friend. Sometimes the best thing I can do for myself when I’m having a meh day is take a break and talk to someone who inspires me.

Break big to-do’s into smaller ones.

Think about it. If it’s freezing cold, dark AND you have some giant tasks to get done that day. It’s easy to throw everything aside and just do nothing, am I right? Netflix is the enemy. So, instead of writing the one big task on your to-do list, break it down into two or three smaller ones spread out over a few days. This will help you feel more accomplished and less guilty about yourself for having to keep moving whatever your big task is further back on your calendar.

Anyone have anything else to add? I’d love to read it and I’m sure everyone else would too!

As always, don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.