Fashion · Uncategorized

Matching your shoes to your bag: yes or no?

I know I started this post off with a question, but really, I’ve already made up my mind. Matching shoes and bags are a big YES in my book.

I’ve been so into ’em. Especially lately, as I’ve been exploring some new colour palettes.

When I’m trying to balance colour in an outfit, matching accessories bring the whole thing together and make it look like a look. It’s like bookends for the outfit.

Here’s the thing though: I think it works best with casual outfits and well-worn pieces. I also think it works best with neutral accessories.

So to keep things simple, I’m sticking with accessories in warm cognac, black, or deep brown — the holy trinity of neutrals.

This is what it looks like for me:

shoes and bag

So, this whole matching-shoes-and-bags thing begs the question:

How often do you switch purses?

It would get really tiresome to switch with every outfit. So I don’t.

If I’m just running to the grocery or something, I go with whatever bag is already in use. If I’m super busy and just need to get stuff done, same story, I don’t stress about it.

Remember back when matching accessories was treated as a rule, and it was a faux pas if everything didn’t match? I’m not into it like that. No need to treat it as a rule.

Instead, I only switch bags when it feels fun. Like when I’m playing around, creating a look for a low key date night or to hang out with friends.

So I probably end up changing bags once or twice a week. That may sound like a lot, and maybe it is. But, I keep a tidy purse and I only have five things in it — my wallet, phone, mask, glasses, and my keys — so it’s not a big deal to switch right now.

Now, I’m curious to hear your opinion on this. Matching accessories: Yes or no? Would you stick with just bags and shoes or would you expand to other accessories? Would you stick to neutrals or try colours? Let me know in the comments.

Fashion · Uncategorized

Commando vs Spanx: faux leather leggings review.

OK, I’m so excited to share today’s post with you all because it is by far one of my most-asked questions this time of year! For years I’ve been a huge fan of any and all faux leather leggings and find any chance I can get to wear them all throughout fall and winter! I even wrote a whole guide on how to style faux leather leggings with lots of outfit ideas if you need some inspiration!

But between all the pairs I’ve purchased and worn over the years, two particular pairs (or brands, rather) have always stood out to me – Commando and Spanx. This sparks the question– which pair I like better or if I had to choose just one, which would it be? They’re both very similar designs and are at the same price point so if you’re going to splurge on a pair… which one do you pick?

The truth is, I love them both!! But of course they have their differences, so today is all about sharing the different features of each pair and giving you all the information you need to decide which one you want to buy! Or maybe you’re like me and you’ll want both!

I’d love to hear in the comments below which pair you prefer or find yourself wearing more and why. Or maybe you just have one pair and absolutely love it – regardless, I’d love to hear!

Commando Faux Leather Leggings.

First up we have the Commando pair. I love this pair of faux leather leggings and reach for them quite a bit. One of the things that stands out to me the most about them is that the material is actually thicker and they’re fleece-lined. So for me, this pair might be more appropriate when it gets super cold outside since I live in Canada. I also consider them to be more “formal” and find them easier to dress up if that makes sense? The finish is what makes a big difference with this as the Commando pair looks and feels more like actual leather!

As you can see from how I styled them though, you can clearly still dress them down! Sneakers are a great way to make them feel more casual and you can never go wrong with an oversized sweater this time of year. It’s probably my favorite way to style faux leather leggings in general!

Spanx Faux Leather Leggings

Next is the Spanx pair. I feel like Spanx leggings have a cult following and people go absolutely crazy for them and I totally understand why. They’re super comfortable yet they also “hold you in”. The shape wear component to them is something I know a lot of people really love and, I love it too!

To me, they wear much more like active wear or athletic leggings. They’re not lined, so they’re much thinner than the Commando ones, which I think makes them a bit easier to move around in potentially (hence the reference to active wear). They also look more causal in general because the finish looks less like authentic leather. That said, I love to dress them up with black booties and a chic blouse – in this case, this super cute animal print chiffon top.

Commando vs. Spanx

If you’re still not sure or want more clarification, I also put together this chart to show you all of the differences side by side. Like I said at the beginning of the post, I don’t think one is better than the other, but you just have to think about what you need out of your faux leather leggings!

Which is your preference?

Do you have a particular pair that you love? If you’re hard-pressed for one or the other, tell me which brand and why in the comments so we can all see and weigh the options!

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Real Talk · Uncategorized

stop being such a doormat.

It’s nice to be nice. It’s nice to do nice things for others. However, when nicety is unreciprocated, taken for granted or turns into an excuse for others to be dismissive of you as a human being, then it becomes a problem.

It occurred to me a couple years ago while I was in the process of letting go of a really toxic friendship, that I was held in a very different regard by others to what I had always assumed. Activities and meet-ups often involved multiple changes that would inevitably make it way more inconvenient and expensive for me. I spent hours waiting for people to turn up. I was repeatedly interrupted whenever I’d speak. I was owed money. It wasn’t uncommon for me to receive messages or have conversations that did not began with a phrase that I have come to loathe:

Can I ask a favour?

The favour. The seemingly easy and straight-forward request that would always turn into a complicated mess and leave me feeling stressed and resentful, particularly when there was no acknowledgement or thanks afterwards. And yet, the one time I remember needing help which would have meant someone having to go out of their way, not a single person responded. Not one.

Of course, being kind, having empathy and sympathy for others and doing our bit to make someone else’s life should be a natural part of our existence. I like doing things for others to make them feel better. I like surprising those close to me to make them smile for no reason. Nevertheless, I’ve found that, for self-preservation and self-care purposes above all, clear boundaries have to be put in place for the more high-maintenance. This isn’t because they are bad people, they are simply used to Becca: The Lapdog.

I decided to make some changes and use words that I had previously found difficult to use:

No, thank you.
I can’t. I’m afraid, I’m busy today.
No thanks, it’s not really my thing, but I appreciate the offer!

At first, it was really interesting. What I discovered was that my ‘no, thanks’ was not considered to be my final answer. It actually caught some people off-guard and surprised them. Often, a conversation would ensue as to why I wasn’t available or couldn’t do something. As if an explanation was required. I would be asked the same thing multiple times in the hope that I would change my mind, only for it then to be passed off as a joke if I made it clear that I wasn’t impressed.

However, over a period of time my consistency started to pay off and now I feel confident enough to understand and verbalise what I will and won’t accept, which is something I would never have done in my younger years.

Here are things you can do to make your life a little easier:

1. Learn the power of no and stick to it. Don’t permit yourself to become involved in what I refer to as a ‘bartering’ style discussion ie. ‘How about you do this and I’ll do this…’ or ‘What about if you do this instead?’ The answer is no. No no no. No. There’s isn’t any need for nastiness or negativity while you’re saying it, but stick to your guns. No.

2. Don’t be afraid of a potential disagreement or verbalising your boundaries. It’s perfectly OK to tell someone that consistently showing up 45 minutes late is unacceptable, unless it’s an emergency. If plans are frequently changed, it’s OK to tell someone why it has become less convenient for you. Don’t negate your own feelings to accommodate those of others if it means you are left feeling upset afterwards.

3. Remove your expectations. The primary cause of my disappointment was that I had an expectation of how someone would feel and behave, or that they would be willing to help me out in the future in return. It was wrong of me to make those assumptions.

4. Avoid explaining yourself in too much detail, but remember that you don’t have to be nasty about it. An ‘I’m really sorry, but I’m busy’ should be more than enough.

5. Pick yourself up from the floor, stand up tall and realise your self-worth. You are a good person. You have your own life. You are entitled to an opinion. You deserve to be treated with the same respect and consideration that you show others. Start reminding yourself of this regularly.

6. Learn from your experiences and avoid repetition in the future. I don’t hold grudges, but I don’t forget either, following the ‘fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me’ idea. It works.

7. Try to avoid feeling guilty. Guilt is the primary reason for many of the ‘favours’ I have done over the years, and became the aftermath after saying no. You’ve done nothing wrong, therefore have nothing to feel guilty about.

8. If necessary, distance yourself. Don’t make yourself as available.

9. Stop apologizing or accepting blame! I’ve written a number of times about this. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about something.

10. If all else fails, get rid of those causing you distress. Harsh, but necessary in certain circumstances.

Remember: You are only treated in the way you allow yourself to be. There is a difference between being easy going and a doormat. Set your boundaries, remove your expectations, build your confidence and live life for your own happiness and not just the happiness of others.

And life will be much better for it!

What about you guys? Do you find your good nature being dismissed or taken advantage of?

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