Real Talk · Uncategorized

4 Secrets to a successful social media detox.

Hi friends!

Now that Christmas is over and we find ourselves in that weird in-between space, waiting for New Years, I wanted to talk more about social media detoxes. Why? Because well, I just can’t get enough and really, what are you doing for the next few days? You might notice I’ve been going a little silent on social more and more lately and it feels really good.

I think the WHY of subjects is so important, but without the tools to get through it, what’s the point? I’ll get right to it – here are 5 *secrets* I’ve used to do social media detoxes from time to time.

phone

Prep a little bit.

I mentioned previously that social media detoxes can sometimes give me a bit of anxiety and I think that is normal. Basically, not looking at social or posting (aka doing my job) makes me feel really behind. I find Mondays are a little bit tougher to get through when on a detox because I know I’ve been offline for a couple days over the weekend. But I’ve learned that a little prep makes all the difference. Whether that’s getting some graphics ready that I really want to share and using a posting app to do it for me, or feeling like I’ve done enough sharing that week – it’s nice knowing that I can take a break without it stressing me out.

If your job revolves around social, that’s what I’d suggest. If it doesn’t, you probably don’t need this tip but maybe it’s still helpful?

Get distracted.

My first experience with a true social detox was over a weekend where I was at the cottage and distracted in the best way. We had such a fun weekend doing outdoorsy things and just living life that social media (and my phone) wasn’t on my mind. Not to mention this was a little easier because there was no cell service so I couldn’t get online even if I wanted to.

If it pains you to put away social media (no judgements!), try being distracted for a weekend. Maybe choose your first detox during a busy weekend or on a trip away. The holidays are the PERFECT time to do detoxes and just enjoy the downtime with family and friends. I promise New Years Eve is still special without sharing it with your followers or feeling like you need to follow along everyone else’s day.

Last year, we went to Mexico over Christmas with my boyfriend and we decided not to purchase the WiFi at the resort and spend an entire week without the outside world. It was amazing!! Although I will say, I found it very overwhelming when we got home and turned it back on to find hundreds of emails, text messages, Instagram notifications, Snaps, Facebook notifications etc.

Let your phone die.

Personally, when I know I need a social media detox, I usually need a break from my phone entirely. From texts, emails, everything. And the easiest way to take a break from it all – and to ensure you’re not tempted to check Instagram REAL QUICK, just for a second – is turning off your phone or letting it die.

I’ll usually put away my chargers or not bring them with me and literally just let it die. I won’t lie, this is kind of painful the first few times, but it gets more comfortable. After a few times, it’s SO FREAKING RELIEVING! Airplane Mode would work too, but I personally am an all or nothing type of girl and give it to temptations.

Wait until you’re ready.

I’ve learned that I can’t do something unless I’m ready – even though I know it’s good for me. I can’t workout until I’m truly ready. I can’t do a wellness routine unless it really feels good, even though the rest of the world might like it. And I can’t take a social media break unless I’m personally ready for it!

Take inventory of your state of mind and burnout and wait until you’re actually ready. Don’t take a break just because I am or because I say it’s good for you – wait until you really need it. It’ll make the process much easier and successful!

Switch those phones off for a few days, we’ll catch up in 2019.

Don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.

Real Talk · Uncategorized

My no resolution resolution.

Although Christmas is right around the corner and we’ve been pumped up for weeks now, I want to hit pause for a second and change gears.

Once all the gifts are wrapped and placed under the tree, the cookies are baked and iced, the tree lights are on, there is often a moment of silence that hovers followed by the realization that a new year is breathing down or necks. Where has this year gone?

I actually posted this thought last year but I wanted to share it again with you because I think it is something very important… I don’t believe in New Years’ resolutions. Nope. Sorry.

Let me explain… As many of you will be breaking out a pen and paper over the next couple of days to start making your resolutions list for 2019, I thought I would share mine with you. I only have one…well, kind of.

In the spring of 2012 my life got a little rocked and turned upside down for a hot minute. Up until then, I thought I had a life-map to follow. I thought I needed to have this done by this time in my life so that this can happen because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I realized in a moment of clarity, this is my life… it belongs to me and not anyone else. I am the only person who can make decisions about myself and do the things that make me happy and not do the things I don’t want to do.

As December of 2012 threatened to turn into January of 2013, I made a promise to myself. I made the last New Years’ resolution I was ever going to make. I committed to myself that I would not set anymore resolutions for the upcoming year. And the year after that. And the year after that. You see where I am going with this?

This may sound completely crazy and it may likely go against everything you have been told, I get that! If you MUST make a resolution this year, make it this: give up wanting anything to happen in the New Year. And if you MUST set a goal, set a goal to make no goals. Embrace the New Year with zero pressure and remain open to the possibility of your potential, be receptive to change and ready to show compassion to yourself for your shortcomings. The reality is that there is no point in setting the same resolutions you’ve been setting for years on end, only to feel disappointed and down on yourself this time next year.

nye

Albert Einstein said it right when he said “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” Consider for a moment why you haven’t lost that weight, why you didn’t change your job or why you didn’t tackle that home renovation this year. Maybe, you didn’t actually really want to, or maybe you were busy thinking about it that you didn’t have the time to actually do it.

This is the year to make a real change. It is time to take stock of where you are and what you really want out of life and stop doing what others expect you to do or what you think might make you seem or feel more successful or appealing.

How about, this year you allow yourself to be you! Do you girl! Stop putting the heavy pressure and expectations on yourself and allow yourself that time and freedom to be present in situations, be open to adventure, see where things go.

It doesn’t seem like a big resolution, but in fact is it absolutely massive! The moment you choose to stop putting pressure on yourself to undertake resolutions that you aren’t 100% committed to or don’t even really want, is the moment you allow yourself that chance to breath. In my option, that is what a New Year should bring – a feeling of release, a feeling of newness and a feeling of being free.

Of course, there is always room for improvement in life, and yes, goal-setting can be a positive activity. However, if you feel short-changed by your efforts and rewards, then maybe it’s time you stopped forcing yourself, stopped making empty promises to a stranger, stopped living through the expectation of others and instead make friends with yourself and that wonderful being that you are!

Empty your glass and dance into this New Year without the baggage from the last. If it feeds you soul, do it! If it makes you want to get out of bed in the morning with a smile, carry on! Let positive vibes and energy give you the clarity to move forward and be comfortable with who you are.

Enjoy the last few days of 2018!

XOXO.

B.

 

Real Talk · Uncategorized

How to prioritize when everything is important.

Let’s talk priorities. Because (obviously) they’re really important. But specifically, I want to talk about an #adulting skill that nobody ever really teaches you but that you’re expected to do: prioritize. Even more specifically, I want to talk about how to prioritize your never-ending to-do list of important things that must get done. How do you know where to start? This is a topic that I have really struggled with in the past and it effected both my personal life and my career until I was able to get it all in check. Not everything is a top priority.

I personally love making lists. They calm my brain and my nerves because there is something about putting everything down on paper just makes the world feel a little less intimidating; writing it all down also somehow makes me feel a little more capable, too. Something about putting words to all the things swimming around in my brain gives me confidence and motivation to accomplish them. You know?

So the question then becomes: how do I distinguish the differing importance between two important things?

But seriously though, I can usually identify what’s important but how do I know what’s most important? How do I put those things in order?

How to prioritize when everything feels important.

So many successful people talk about the importance of prioritizing and how it’s such a necessary skill in being able to get things done. But I’m over here, nodding my head, like yes yes yes. Okay totally. I agree, but the question is: HOW? How do I actually prioritize when literally everything feels (and seems) super important? I clearly can’t do it all at once. Even though I still struggle with this, I’ve learned a lot along the way. So here is exactly what I do when I need to figure out how to prioritize my overwhelming list of things to do, step-by-step.

Take a deep breath.

First things first, let’s chill out a second, okay? It’s all going to be okay. We’ll get through this, I promise. I know that is easier said than done but take that first deep breath, it is a starting point.

I know the feeling of having a list of 3,687 things that NEED to be done like yesterday (and they’re all important) so please, if you haven’t taken that deep breath yet do it NOW. I feel overwhelmed by my to-do list and ideas on the regular but stopping to remind myself that it’ll be OK always helps. Always. Talk to yourself if you need to. But don’t underestimate the power in taking a long, deep, intentional breath; it can do more for you (your brain and body!) than you realize.

I get that not feeling overwhelmed is easier said than done (I should know), but if you don’t take a second to get yourself out of there, you’ll likely end up paralyzed by your to-do list to the point where you won’t get anything done. Know what I mean? So just stop for a second, take a deep breath and remember it’ll all be OK. You’ve got this.

Brain dump: put all your thoughts on paper.

One of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed is to do a good ‘ole brain dump .You have heard me talk about this time and time again. Because I’m addicted and do them all the time.

If you don’t know what a brain dump is, it’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like – it’s taking pen to paper and getting all of your thoughts OUT of your brain. It’s a release and it’s also you facing facts. It’s taking everything you’re worrying about, questioning, feeling and needing to do, and putting it somewhere that you can actually look at them.

Get your journal (it’s better to write than type), cozy up on the couch and get ALL THE THINGS out of your brain and onto the page. In the next step I’ll tell you what to do with it but for now, just write write write. Don’t censor yourself or write down what you wish you were thinking. Just be honest with yourself, write down anything that pops up and don’t judge yourself for any of it.

If you’ve never tried one before, I promise you’ll be hooked after the first one (there’s something so therapeutic about getting everything out of your head). I break down how to do a brain dump in detail in this post .

Categorize the brain dump.

Once you’ve got everything out of your brain and onto paper, the next step is to categorize your tasks. This will help you figure out what needs to be done immediately, what needs to be scheduled, what can be delegated and what can be flat out deleted.

What you want to do is look over all the things you’ve written down and either use a different colored highlighter for each category or rewrite your list into the four groups so you can see things clearly. And deleting as much as you possibly can is ALWAYS a good productivity tip, so don’t be afraid to cross off things that won’t help move you closer to your goals (and sometimes you just have to be ruthless).

Prioritize the important.

This is the hardest part – figuring out what to do when you’ve got A LOT in the “not urgent but still important” category. As I was saying before, knowing how to distinguish different levels of importance can be challenging and no one’s really telling us how to prioritize it. What I share below is my process for figuring out what’s most important.

Th area that I tend to spend the most time in are the tasks that are not urgent but important. They’re the ones that help you achieve your most important goals and have to do with relationships, planning, and self-improvement. Basically, they’re all the things you want to be doing in your life but haven’t got around to yet (because they’ve never been urgent!).

Here are some examples of activities that fall into that section, dependent on your lifestyle:

  • Getting enough sleep
  • Going for a morning walk
  • Working on your side hustle
  • Spending time with family and friends
  • Spending time alone/reflecting
  • Listening to a podcast
  • Reading
  • Planning
  • Getting your life organized

Assess value.

So the question remains – how to figure out which of these things to do first? Again, take a deep breath and then have a look over your list and start assessing the value of each task. Let’s be real – everything on your list isn’t going to get you the same result. There are some things on that list that will make a huuuge difference in your life and some that will only change it a little bit. For example, making sure you get enough sleep each night is going to have a much bigger impact on your life than listening to a podcast (even though I love podcasts ) because if you’re not looking after your health then everything else suffers.

Looking at the value of each task is super important (because what’s the point of doing stuff if it doesn’t get you to your goals??) so what I suggest is go through your list and give each item a 1 if it’s just a nice-to-have all the way up to a 10 if it would be completely life-changing (if you can’t tell yet, we’re basically just refining that first list you wrote again and again and again until it’s not overwhelming). And if you think everything on your list would be life-changing, remind yourself that it’s better to focus on a couple of things rather than attempting all of them at once. Try not to give two or more things the same rating if you can avoid it.

When you’re figuring out how to prioritize the important stuff, it’s also good to consider how long things will take, whether you have other people depending on you, deadlines etc. I recommend going back over your list again (ha!) and make sure that the items you scored as a 10 are the ones that are the most impactful AND make the most sense when you consider the time and effort involved as well as other people (but having said that… it’s important you’re not just living your life to please others).

Put tasks in order.

I don’t recommend working from your messy, color-coded brain dump; that’s NOT going to help with the overwhelming feelings. In order to prioritize the list, we’ve got to sort through it a bit, reorder some things, assign different weights to others, and so on. The key to figuring out how to prioritize your forever-long brain dump is to write a new, fresh list. Stay with me, friends.

Once you’ve got everything in order, write a new list of the things you’re going to do based on the ratings you gave each. Be sure to keep your list short and make sure each of the tasks you want to do is specific (this helps with planning).

If there are any unimportant tasks that landed onto your lists, cross them off ASAP. We can tend to those later. Challenge yourself to focus on just the important items.

Run over your list and make sure you feel good and confident (about the importance of) everything that’s on there. Easier said than done, but it’s best to do this before you’ve started any of the work, not after. Go through each item and be honest with the reason why it is on the list and ask yourself what makes it important and why. Make sure that none of the tasks you’re doing are coming from a place of fear or a desire to people-please.

Strive for progress over perfection.

To-do lists are a place where perfectionism can flare up (in a BIG way) and you might feel like you need to have everything perfectly prioritized before you can get started. Or that you need to do everything for it to be worth it.

But I know for sure that it’s better to be doing something imperfectly than to not being doing it at all. Strive for progress, not perfection. And remember that none of us have our lives perfectly organized – I wish!

Related: How to overcome the pressure to be perfect.

What about you?

How do you figure out what’s most important?

Let’s chat.

Don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.