Real Talk · Uncategorized

How to deal with negative self-talk.

Today’s post is something I’ve been wanting to write for a while, but is kinda heavy so I think I’ve subconsciously been putting it off. Negative self-talk is an issue I deal with frequently and I want to put it out there because I think we all can be unnecessarily hard on ourselves every once in a while. I know I write a lot about positivity and self-care, etc. but the truth is I have some down moments of my own and can find myself in a really negative head space sometimes. I try really hard to be self-aware enough to know when I’m in this space, which is what I want to touch on in this post.

I sat down and put some thought (basically did a brain dump and pulled out what made sense) into it and the following is what I came up with for how to deal with negative self-talk.

Be aware enough to know when you’re doing it.

I mentioned this above and I think it’s the most important thing to take away from this post. Knowing when you’re in a tough spot mentally and taking it all out on yourself is key. Because, no matter what your situation is, being mean to yourself isn’t going to help solve anything. Honestly, I think self-awareness is one of the best characteristics a person can have.

Ask yourself why.

If you find yourself talking or thinking negatively about yourself, pause for a second and ask yourself why? Did you miss a deadline? Forget an appointment? Drop the ball in some way at work? Doing any of those things can make you feel like a failure darn quick. I GET IT. But how does beating yourself over it help in any way? Instead, ask yourself why you’re being so hard on yourself and then write a quick list of two or three things that you can do to change the circumstance for next time. Take action! Rethink your priorities, evaluate your goals. etc. There are just a lot more productive things you can do to help yourself than sitting around making yourself feel like total crap, know what I mean?

Do something you enjoy.

This kind of goes back to the self-awareness thing, but you need to know how to get yourself happy. KNOW what gives you true joy! That way when you need to bring yourself back up you know exactly what to do. For me, it’s going on a walk or having some quiet time snuggling with Winston, or even a call to my grandmother always seems to go a long way. Whatever it is for you, just do it and get yourself smiling again.

Give yourself grace.

This is another very important lesson I’ve learned in the last year or so. Giving yourself grace means you’re not being so critical of yourself and you’re making room for those “mess-ups” or “drop the ball” moments. The more I learn to extend myself some grace, the less I find myself in a bad spot mentally. It makes a huge difference, trust me!

I truly, truly hope you find this helpful. This is definitely an issue I’m still working on myself, but if putting it out there helps any of you then it’s worth it!

As always, don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.

Real Talk · Uncategorized

How to stay motivated when it’s cold and dark.

Hello lovely humans!!

I feel like it’s officially  that time of year again when the temperature and the short days start to take a toll on us. Anybody else experience this? I think I’m just someone who feeds off of the sun and beautiful weather, but living in Canada and having real winters, I want to double down on what I can do to keep motivated during the inevitable cold and short days.

I’ve written a lot about motivation in the past but I also really try to make these tips specific to the season, temperature and shorter days. If you have any tried and true tips on this topic, please share! I’m all ears because I have a feeling I’m going to need all the help I can get during the winter!

Find a way to get excited about the day.

When the weather is crappy and the sun starts to set at 5:30pm, the feeling of dread starts pretty early in the day. Instead of letting it take over, give yourself something to look forward to! For example, if you check off X amount of things on your to-do list then you get to buy those new boots you’ve been eyeing or take yourself out to a movie – whatever gets you most excited! Some may call it bribery, but I call it getting stuff done.

Move your body.

I’ve said this a million times and I’ll keep saying it – moving my body more has changed my life! It seriously makes me feel so much better and kind of reinvigorates me. It took a while for me to really make it a habit, but once I realized what a difference it was making in my productivity and how good it makes me feel, I had to keep doing it!

The main thing I love to do to move my body is take Winston for walks, 30 minutes at least every day. The problem I run into is in the winter time, the salt on the sidewalks is so bad for his little paws and it hurts him (I’ve tried so many pair of booties but he hates them all) so we resort to playing in the backyard as much as possible. Recently. I have adapted the habit of an at home workout every night. I’ve been using the Workout For Women app on my iPhone. There are a bunch of great workouts ranging from 6 – 9 minutes that don’t require any equipment other than your own body. I try and do 3 a day before hitting the showers.

Talk to a co-worker or friend.

I think it’s especially important to make sure you’re not isolating yourself in the fall/winter months. The weather can already make things sort of depressing so if you’re feeling unmotivated, talk to someone at work or a friend. Sometimes the best thing I can do for myself when I’m having a meh day is take a break and talk to someone who inspires me.

Break big to-do’s into smaller ones.

Think about it. If it’s freezing cold, dark AND you have some giant tasks to get done that day. It’s easy to throw everything aside and just do nothing, am I right? Netflix is the enemy. So, instead of writing the one big task on your to-do list, break it down into two or three smaller ones spread out over a few days. This will help you feel more accomplished and less guilty about yourself for having to keep moving whatever your big task is further back on your calendar.

Anyone have anything else to add? I’d love to read it and I’m sure everyone else would too!

As always, don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.

Real Talk · Uncategorized

I slowed my darn role.

One.

That is the amount of times I got dressed this past weekend.

Sure, there are hundreds of things I could have done this weekend and a handful of things I should have this weekend.

I very easily could have caught up on the towering loads of laundry that are invading our laundry room, I also could have gone shopping for the ideal silver and glittery handbag I need for a wedding at the end of the month which will complement my navy gown perfectly.

I know that I should have cleaned out the refrigerator I have been neglecting and I also should have finishing sanding the stain and paint off our kitchen table and chairs so I could have them refinished by Thanksgiving which is in just under 5 weeks. But, I didn’t.

The only productive thing I did this weekend was listen to my body and to my soul that have been yelling, kicking and screaming at me to slow my darn role lately. It has been a busy summer, which is great but as we prepare to transition into fall and the next level of busy-I needed a break. This fall we have two weddings to attend, Thanksgiving dinner to host, my birthday to celebrate, our 7 year anniversary to celebrate, two very good friend’s birthdays to celebrate, oh…and our wedding to plan still!

As much as I needed to take a time out, I also needed to come to terms with accepting that I was going to be selfish with myself this weekend. I needed to accept that I was going to say “no thank you” to all plans with friends, regardless if they understood or accepted my reasoning.

This is conflicting because as I told you recently, I am a total people pleaser. I will enthusiastically say “YES” to all kinds of things that I don’t actually want to do. Why do I do this? I think it boils down to the fact that by agreeing to these things, it makes other people happy and when I am the reason for someones happiness, I feel good about myself. I’s a weird and sick little game, I know this. Whatever.

cozy outfit

Can I be real for a minute? I had the best weekend by doing absolutely nothing productive for the outside world. I woke up both mornings and washed my face, brushed my teeth and changed from my pajamas into comfy clothes, puttered around and entertained myself, showered in the evening and put back on my pajamas. My hair was in a scrunchie all weekend! I didn’t even open my make up drawer once! I was me in the most natural sense of being. And I loved every minute of it.

So, what did I do? I cracked the spine on The Scent of You (by Maggie Alderson) which I meant to get to this summer but couldn’t find the time. I relaxed with face masks and played with a new eye cream which I will tell you about soon. I dusted off the Crock-Pot and tried a new Italian chicken recipe for dinner, it was delicious. I walked around in my oversized fluffy cozy socks. I dug out most of our fall decor that was packed away in the basement and set it up feeling festive while drinking a new bottle of white wine. I helped a friend that lives in my area look for her missing kitty, Ginger (sadly, she is still out on an adventure somewhere but we’ll keep looking until she comes home). I put together this years Thanksgiving dinner menu. I made my NFL picks for the week for our family Yahoo football pool and I mostly I hung out with my two loves- Tyson and Winston.

pumpkin kitchen table

pumpkin coffee table

pumpkin kitchen

winston outside.png

One thing that I did do this weekend was I carved aside some time to catch up on other blogs and see what all of you have been up to lately. I wanted to share my amazing friend Erin’s blog with you – The Crafted Dreamer. (Erin, how long have we known each other? At least 10 years I would say?) Erin is the definition of a beautiful soul – and no, that’s not a Jesse McCartney reference although I kind of wish it was. The Crafted Dream is a glimpse into her life which can be messy at times but also beautiful. She talks about real shit and she isn’t afraid to go there – depression, anxiety, relationships and the fears and hurtles that come along with those. Her blog is a definite must read and subscribe!

What did your past weekend look like? Are you getting ready for fall or still tying to hold onto summer until the last drop? Also, besides mine obvs what other blogs are you loving right now? I am always curious and looking for new blog reads so point me in he direction of some boss babes out there! Heck- brag on yourself even! Tell me about your blog!!

As always, don’t forget to subscribe to LiveLaughLearn.blog to stay up to date and follow on Instagram @LiveLaughLearn.blog

XOXO.

B.